Mobile Spy Phone can now be used to Spy on kid via Parental Control Software

Note from James: A lot of the things we do to protect our children might be considered “spying” by our kids, but they are in fact measures we take to keep them safe from others, as well as from themselves. Before we begin, I want to say that I
hesitate to use the word “spying” because it has a negative, sneaky connotation. It’s hard to “spy” on someone in your own home. But that’s a word parents understand and use when we talk about looking through our kids’ things, so we decided to use that characterization here.

Parents often wonder how much privacy their children need, and ask me if it’s okay to violate it. So before we get to the subject of spying on your child, I want to talk a little about adolescent privacy. Personally, I believe there should be a direct link between the amount of responsibility, consistency, and honesty that kids show and the amount of privacy they’re allowed to have in their rooms.

Adolescents need to separate and individuate. What that means is that they want to have a life of their own, and adolescence is really about preparing them for that. You should know that part of that process includes forming boundaries. To put it simply, boundaries are where your child ends and you begin. When a child is little, there is literally no separation: the child receives milk from its mother. And then as that child develops and gets older, boundaries start to develop. The day comes when your child goes to the bathroom and closes the door because he wants privacy, and he gets embarrassed if someone walks in. This separation is a natural part of human relationships, and as teens get older, the lines become clearer and clearer. Parents and kids often fight over where these boundaries exist, but your child’s need to establish them is very important. That’s why I think it’s important that kids have privacy. They should have a room where they can go and just close the door. Even if they share a room with siblings, I think each child should have a place where they can have “alone time” and it’s respected by the family.

By the way, I understand that many parents go into their kids’ rooms to straighten up, pick up dirty clothes, and clean up: things we want our teens to do, even though they often don’t do it as much as we’d like. I don’t refer to that as “spying”—I call that doing what parents do. I think the term “spying” should be reserved for when parents start going through their kids’ closets and drawers, going onto their computer and checking emails, looking through their backpack and pockets, and other activities of that nature. In my opinion, if your child is otherwise trustworthy, honest and responsible, I don’t believe there’s any reason for you to do that. In fact, I invite parents not to do that, and to start respecting that boundary. Certainly we don’t want our kids going through our drawers and closets. In my opinion, we should give kids who are responsible and mature the same respect.

When You Shouldn’t Spy
If you have a teenager who meets her responsibilities, comes home on curfew, is where she says she’ll be when she said she’d be there, is hanging out with the people with whom she said she would be hanging out, and you have no reason to be suspicious about anything, I suggest you stay out of her room. And I think you should tell her that, too. You can say something like, “I’m not going to interfere with your privacy, because you’re doing so well. I have no reason not to trust you.” That way, she knows she’s being rewarded for her behavior—your lack of interference in her personal space is a direct result of her actions.

Why do I think you shouldn’t you spy on your kids without good reason? Many parents do it, and I’m not saying it’s wrong. But in my opinion, it doesn’t foster independence and individuation. We want to raise a young adult who can make independent decisions and who can have a life of their own. Don’t forget, one of the things teens try to do during puberty is individuate. Part of having a life of their own is having a space of their own. So when you spy on your otherwise responsible child, the message you’re sending is, “I don’t trust you, even when you haven’t done anything wrong.”

Spying on Your Child: When the Game Changes
Let me be clear: I believe the whole game changes if you have discovered something incriminating or if you have a very real suspicion about your child’s risky activities. When faced with this situation, many parents will ask me if they have the “right” to look in their child’s room. To be honest, I don’t like talking about rights; the word is just too overused in our culture. But here’s the deal: I believe that whoever’s name is on the mortgage has a right to look anywhere in their house. In my opinion, that’s your right because you own the house. Even more importantly, you have a responsibility to protect your kids from themselves, even if they don’t want that protection.

Instead of talking about rights, I prefer talking about responsibility, accountability and obligations. I think once something triggers your suspicion and it’s real—if you think your teen might be using drugs, drinking or engaging in other risky teen behavior—you have an obligation and a responsibility to your child to look in their room. One empty beer can is sufficient. If you find alcohol or drugs or medication that he’s not on, I think you have to start looking around, because your responsibility is to try to protect your child from himself. And in order to accomplish that, you need knowledge. Remember, knowledge is power. When I say power, I don’t mean hitting something with a hammer—I mean the power of knowledge, when you understand what’s going on, when your eyes finally open and you see something clearly.

Monitoring the Computer
I know parents who have put monitoring programs on their children’s computers after they’ve discovered that their children have used drugs. The parents were able to read all the outgoing and incoming email on their child’s computer. Now I’m not necessarily suggesting you do that, but I do see that as fair. Remember, it’s not like we as parents have to respect all kinds of privacy for our kids and then they get to do whatever they want to do. You can’t have two sets of values. It’s not as if, “I have to be good and you can do whatever you want.” Rather, “If you don’t meet your responsibilities to take care of yourself and to stay safe, then I’m going to take whatever steps necessary. If that means looking in your room, looking in your drawers and looking on your computer, that’s exactly what I’m prepared to do.” In my opinion, doing that kind of thing after you’ve caught your child engaging in risky behavior is one of the few tools parents have.

“Why Should I Tell My Child if I’m Spying?”
Many parents will ask, “Why should I tell him I’m going to do it? He’ll only hide it outside of the house.” But that’s not your problem as a parent. Your responsibility is to be up front and clear. If he hides it outside of the house, he hides it outside of the house—remember, after the first time you find something, he’s going to hide it outside the house anyway. That’s his choice. But you’re making the rules in your house and I think you should be very clear and open about that. Make sure there are no secrets and it’s all up front before you start checking your child’s room, backpack, and computer. It’s important that you keep your integrity as an honest person intact. You can say something like, “You’ve lost my trust and I’m going to start checking on you more often. I’m doing this because I love you, want you to be safe, and I’m just not going to let you do this in our home.”

When You’ve Found Your Child Engaging in Risky Behavior
It’s a terrible thing when you’re trying to be a “good enough parent” and then your child goes out into the world and gets into trouble with drugs, drinking and other risky behaviors. On top of that, our kids are told a lot of things about what we parents can, should and shouldn’t be able to do. In my opinion, they’re fed a lot of baloney about their rights and what they should be able to do. In reality, that’s a lot of nonsense.

The fact is that it’s your home. The cell phone is probably in your name, the computer is in your name, but even if they are not, you have every right and responsibility to check them if you’ve been given cause to do so. It’s completely okay for you to look into those things in order to keep your home safe, your other children safe and especially the child whom you think is messing up safe. Don’t forget, when kids use drugs or do criminal behavior or engage in other risky activities, part of the power they have is to be secretive. That’s one of their big thinking errors. “I have a right to keep secrets from you; you don’t have any right to keep secrets from me.”

But the idea for you as a parent is, “You don’t have a right to keep secrets from me if it’s something that endangers you or endangers our family.” In my office, I trained parents to handle this situation by explaining it the following way: “You don’t have to search your child’s room, but it’s okay if you do. If your kid says, ‘You can’t do that, I’m going to call the cops,’ call the cops for them.” The police are not social workers, but if a child has been using drugs and the parent searches the room, they will support the parent. I think parents should be checking up on their child after a major infraction—and giving them stern consequences—as an obligation and as a responsibility.

By the way, parents have a hard time calling the police, and I understand. But I think it gives your child the following clear message: “Don’t try to intimidate me. I’m not going to let you destroy yourself. I’ll take any steps necessary to make sure it doesn’t happen.” I tell parents, “If he won’t listen to your authority, let’s kick it up a notch. Let’s go to a higher level of authority.” Believe me, when there’s a guy in your room in a blue uniform with a gun on and handcuffs on his belt and a big old flashlight, you know right away you’re not dealing with mommy and daddy anymore. That message comes across loud and clear: You’re not dealing with someone who you can manipulate and turn things around on.

Don’t Let Your Child Turn the Argument Around on You
When kids are caught with something incriminating, many of them will try to turn it around and say, “I can’t believe you went into my room!” They make it seem as if the parent has done something wrong. Turning things around is a tactic kids use to put parents on the defensive. They create an argument as a diversion to avoid taking responsibility for their actions or behavior. Below are a few tactics kids use when in this situation, and ways for you as a parent to make sure the discussion stays on track.

* Tactic #1: “I can’t believe you were spying on me!”

Here’s a common scenario: The parent says, “I found some rolling papers in your desk drawer.” And the child answers them with, “I can’t believe you were spying on me! I’m 16 years old. What’s wrong with you?” The parent should not get sucked into that argument. Instead, the parent should say, “I told you I’d be checking into things. The problem is not whether I’ve been spying on you, the problem is the rolling papers you have in your drawer. And that’s the only thing I’m willing to talk to you about. If you want to yell or scream, go yell or scream some place else. Because when you’re done, that’s what we’ll discuss. Not me violating your rights, because you are violating our home.”

So, don’t let your child turn it around. Say, “We’ll talk about this when you’re ready to talk about it calmly.” And then turn around and walk away. If your child says, “I’m ready now.” Tell him, “No, we have to wait 15 minutes. I’m not calm enough now.” Go sit down, take a walk, go have a cup of tea. And then come back, talk about it, and explain the consequences for their actions.

* Tactic #2: “I’m holding it for a friend.”

Kids will also say, “Well, it’s not even mine. I’m holding it for a friend.” I think you should come back with, “I don’t want to hear any of that. It’s your responsibility not to bring stuff like this into this house and you’re going to be held accountable for it no matter what you were doing.” Because kids will try to tell you that they’re being noble—it’s another tactic they use. They’re doing it to “save a friend.” Just don’t buy that. Say, “You brought it into the house. It’s in your possession. It’s your responsibility.” Look at it this way, if a cop stops you and you have an ounce of marijuana and you tell him it’s your cousin’s, they don’t want to hear that. You’ve got it in your hand, that’s all that matters because you’re in possession of it. And if you’re in possession of it, you’re responsible for it and you’re accountable to the law. That’s all there is to it.

* Tactic #3: “Why don’t you trust me?”

As I’ve said, adolescents are real pros at diverting the argument. So, if you say, “How come I found an empty beer can under your bed,” they might come back with, “Why are you spying in my room—why don’t you trust me?” But that’s not the question or the issue. The issue is that your child had an empty beer can under his bed. Holding him accountable is not spying, and you’re not violating his privacy or rights; don’t get dragged into that fight. Say, “We’re not talking about trusting you. We’re not talking about violating your privacy. You know the rules in this house. There are no drugs and alcohol allowed, both in the house and for your own personal use. That’s the issue, not your privacy. We’re going to talk about this in an hour, and I want you to be ready.” And turn around and leave the room.

* Tactic #4: “You broke your promise!”

If you spy on your child without cause and find something incriminating, I think you have to sit down and say, “Listen, I did something today that you’re not going to like. I went into your room without your knowledge and I looked around. And while I know you don’t like that, and I know that I told you I wouldn’t, I did it today. And I accept that you’re angry. If there’s some way I can make it up to you, I will. But while I was in there, I found some cough syrup bottles. And we’re going to have to talk about that and deal with it. And I want an answer as to how they got there and why they are in my house.” And if your child gets really incriminating and tries to turn it around, if he starts escalating and yells, “You promised you wouldn’t go in my room,” you can say, “We’ll talk about this when you calm down. I’ll be back in half an hour.” And turn around and leave. In this case, I think you should admit you were wrong and say you’re sorry if that’s the case. But also, the issue at hand has to be dealt with. Some things are just that important.

Is It OK to Take the Door Off My Child’s Bedroom?
I’ve known families where they’ve taken the door off the bedroom of an acting-out child.
My question for them is always, “Well, how’s he going to have any privacy?” If you take their door off, in my opinion, you’d better have a good reason. If your child is smoking pot in his room and hanging out the window, I think that’s a good reason. But ask yourself this: once you take the door off, how are you going to let him earn it back? It’s not, “The door’s gone forever.” And it’s not even, “The door’s gone for a month.” It’s, “The door’s gone until you…” Just like we teach in The Complete Guide to Consequences, give him a task-oriented consequence.

By the way, we’re not talking here about your child winning back your trust. If your child wants to earn back your trust and his privacy, where you’re not spying on him anymore, that can be discussed at a later date—but not soon. And you can tell your child, “That’s not on the table right now. For now, we’re dealing with the consequences of your actions.”

Privacy is a Privilege, Not a Right
Again, giving a child privacy as to what goes on in their room or what’s in their drawers is a privilege you give them because they are trustworthy and honest. In my opinion, it’s not a right. And your kids should know that if they violate the trust and honesty, one of the things that’s going to change is that you are going to be watching them more carefully. And yes, that might mean going through their drawers or closet or looking through their email. But that’s the price they pay for being dishonest and untrustworthy. We all have to learn in life that losing someone’s trust is a very powerful thing. People get fired from their jobs because they’ve done something that violates their boss’s trust, like stolen something from work or used drugs or alcohol while on the job. Trust is not something that can be taken lightly, both inside your home and out. It’s not spying when you decide you have to take extra steps to keep your kids safe from what’s going on in the outside world and from their own poor decisions, especially if you have other children in the home.

Empowering Parents is a weekly newsletter, online magazine and parenting blog published by Legacy Publishing Company. Our goal is to empower people who parent by providing useful problem-solving techniques to parents and children. The views expressed in the articles on Empowering Parents represent the opinions of the authors and the experts quoted therein. Unfortunately, it’s not possible for us to respond to every question posted after an article on our website. Empowering Parents encourages its readers to participate by weighing in with suggestions and advice.

James Lehman is a behavioral therapist and the creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents. He has worked with troubled children and teens for three decades. James holds a Masters Degree in Social Work from Boston University.

Catch Your Cheating Husband Using a Spy Phone.

Should I Spy?

By Dr. Robert Huizenga
If you are a spouse who suspects your partner might be having an affair, wants to find out if he/she is telling the truth or has a need to discover details of the affair, this article is for you.

The desire, sometime a fairly strong desire to spy or find out exactly what is happening between your partner and the other person, is commonly very strong, especially at disclosure of the affair or prior to that when you sense that something is off kilter.

7 Legitimate Motives for Spying
1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself. Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you confronted him/her and it was met with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this doesn’t fit! I don’t believe it!

To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a tremendous internal turmoil.

If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY!

Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and trust more fully your gut feelings.

2. Spying may help you feel connected to your partner who seems to be steadily moving away from you.It is a way of maintaining contact and have some sort of connection to this stranger who once was well known.

Isn’t it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss the connection and try to find someway to maintain the ties.

3. Spying may be an honest attempt to bring resolution to the relationship. You want to know the truth. You sense something does not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait.

You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You want to get on with the relationship. You want to get on with your life.

You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might be this huge elephant that no one is talking about. You want to know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.

4. If you suspect that this behavior might be the end of the relationship, you want to protect yourself legally.

If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having “evidence” does have some impact in some court systems.

Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse. Please read through my “7 Reasons For an Affair” to determine the situation that faces you. If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.

5. You want to protect yourself medically. You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at stake. And, of course, you need to know.

Shame, guilt or self-absorption may be so powerful in your partner that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.

6. Secrets are work! There is not much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact.

It is the proverbial elephant sitting in the room that no one dare talk about. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Emotionally, you can’t miss it.

Secrets are a drain. If the secret persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things.

Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load.

You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret. You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.

7. Some of us like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue.

Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may spy to keep the sense of being alive a part of your life.

Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy?

My, how the person involved in the affair cries foul when he/she discovers you are spying.

Outrage can be intense: “How dare you!! I never thought you would stoop to that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don’t spy and go behind your back! Now you know why I want to pull away from you. How could I love anyone that would do something like that to me? On and on.

Usually the person having the affair does not see or will not admit the duplicity of his/her clandestine behavior. But you are made out to be the villain if you use detective work to discover thetruth. It doesn’t make sense, but then again not much about an affair borders close to sanity.

Are you a morally corrupt duplicitous character hell bent on destroying the integrity of a relationship through spying? No, of course not. The integrity of the relationship has been destroyed through the affair. The affair shattered the promises and mocked the vows that the two of you made.

The affair invaded the domain of your marriage and crumbled its protective boundaries. The affair broke the contract of the marriage; it was the act of betrayal. Spying does not damage the marriage. It is an attempt to seek the truth and resolve the pain and deception.

Spying is often used to grasp the reality of the situation. It’s intent is to find the truth. Only the truth can provide a foundation from which to begin resolving the hurt, pain and forging a direction for the marriage and enable each person in the marriage to attain health and sanity.

Are You Ready to Handle What You Might Find?

Have you considered the many situations that spying might uncover? Can you imagine the worst thing you might find? Predict what your response will be to the worst-case scenario. Are you ready? Here are some specific questions to ask yourself:

1) Do I have friends I can count on for support if I discover the worst? Do they know I might need them? Have I told them exactly how they might help me? Do I have the capacity to stand back from the deep emotions and not get mired or lost in destructive thoughts and feelings?

2) How have I handled emotional pain in the past? What if it gets almost unbearable? If I encounter the worst possible emotional hurt and pain, do I have a therapist I can contact immediately and see soon to help me through the rough sports?

3) What will be my strategy for what I find? Do I have a strategy for the different scenarios? Do I have a strategy to confront or not confront my spouse? How, when and under what circumstances will I confront him/her?

4) What kind of strategy will I have for self-care? What will I need to do to keep myself functioning somewhat effectively?

5) Do I have a coach or an objective someone who can help me develop strategies and goals for confrontation and self-care and keep me focused and working on these strategies and goals?

6) Do I know what kind of affair I might face? Do I know the prognosis for that kind of affair? Have I educated myself about affairs and what I must do to effectively resolve and move through this crisis?

Spying is Not Revenge

Do not use what you find as ammunition for revenge. Sure, you may have wonderfully violent fantasies of what you would really like to do to him/her and the other person. This is very normal. But, don’t act them out.

Using what you find to extract revenge will only lengthen the time of pain and anger. It will undermine your integrity as a person, lower your personal standards and make you exceedingly unattractive.

Resist the temptation to sling the mud!

Keep what you find to yourself.

You spy because the truth will set YOU free. The quickest cleanest way to break free from the affair is to set your focus on you as you navigate your way through the difficult weeks and months.

The sooner the two of you can face each other, without outside input or influence, the better of you and the relationship will be.

There usually is no reason to share new found information with family, friends, children or the spouse of the other person. A concern about sexually transmitted diseases or health risks might be an exception. If it is important to share such information, do so without much fanfare or drama.

And of course, if you pursue legal action, any information obtained through spying is sometimes might be helpful to your attorney. Some “evidence” does carry weight in particular states or districts.

http://tapcellphone.com

Is your boss watching you at work via your office-issued electronic device? Probably. And is that legal? Yep!

Last week, New York City School Chancellor Joel Klein fired John Halpin, a construction supervisor who has worked for the Department of Education for 21 years, for repeatedly leaving work early. (Ironically, it turns out that he did show up early for work quite frequently. Maybe he needed a new schedule?)

Administrative Law Judge Tynia Richard found him guilty of giving false time records, the evidence showing that he left work early as many as 83 times(!) between March 2 and August 9, 2006. “This individual was getting paid for not working,” schools spokeswoman Margie Feinberg told The New York Post.

Where did the proof come from? The employee’s cell phone. It turns out that the company-issued cell phone contained a Global Positioning System (GPS) tracking device. It was also noted that Halpin’s time cards always appeared to be stamped from the same machine, though he was expected to work in different locations each day.

Halpin claims that he was never informed that the cell phone would monitor his movement when he accepted it in 2005. Does he have a case? Not really. Judge Richard stressed that the Department of Education didn’t need “to notify its employees of all the methods it may possibly use to uncover their misconduct.”

Frankly, I’m not surprised. You accept a cell phone from your employer and you’re shocked that it might be used to track you through global positioning technology? Please, I don’t think so. The guy was cheating. His employer found out using a perk they gave to him.

It seems like no reasonable expectation of privacy exists in the workplace, especially on employer-owned equipment like computers and phones. According to a November 12, 2006 Chicago Sun-Times article, GPS is used by eight percent of companies to track vehicles, but is starting to find use monitoring office workers. As it turns out, only two states — Connecticut and Delaware — require employees to be notified that GPS devices are being used to monitor their activities.

“To a certain degree, as long as it’s the employer’s tools you’re using, the employer rules,” Leslie Ann Reis, a workplace privacy expert at John Marshall Law School, told the Chicago Sun-Times.

In a 2005 survey of 526 companies by the American Management Association, three out of four companies admitted to monitoring the Web activities of its employees, half the companies admitted to reviewing their computer files and monitoring phone numbers dialed, and half admitted to using video monitoring, up from only 33 percent four years ago. By 2010, the video surveillance technology will be an $8.64 billion business, according to the research company Frost & Sullivan.

But is this all being done in secret? Not really. The American Management/ePolicy Institute says that 80 percent of employers using monitoring devices notify their workers that their for computer content, keystrokes and keyboard time will be recorded; 82 percent notify them that computer files are reviewed; 86 percent notify them that e-email is being watched; and 89 percent tell them that Internet visits are monitored.

And how much further will it go? Think biometrics, where minuscule radio frequency identification (RFID) chips, the size of a grain of rice, will be inserted under your skin, allowing an employer to track your fingerprints and voice pattern. And for now, anything and everything you do on your employer’s computer could be used against you.

“The computer system is the property of the employer and as such the employer has the right to monitor Internet activity and email,” Nancy Flynn, executive director of the ePolicy Institute of Columbus, Ohio, told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in a March 12, 2006 article by Patricia Kitchen. “Employees should have no reasonable expectation to privacy.”

There is very little law regarding electronic employee monitoring, and the law that does exist is unsettled. The U.S. Constitution, state constitutions, federal and state statutes do not provide much guidance on privacy rights in the workplace, especially in the private sector.

The main statutory law in this field is the Electronic Communications Privacy Act of 1986, which “prohibits the intentional or willful interception, accession, disclosure or use of one’s electronic communication,” but it has a lot of exceptions when it comes to employee monitoring. Because the law is really just an amendment to the federal wiretapping law, it will rarely protect employees.

So why exactly are employers resorting to these measures? Ask and you’ll get a long list of reasons: to track down sexual harassment cases, accidents, violence, criminal activity and employee laziness. And in lawsuits, employers are resorting more often to electronic evidence.

At the time I’m writing this, a group of cab drivers in New York have haphazardly gone on strike to protest the addition of GPS devices to their cars, allowing the taxi commission to monitor where they are at all times. The technology will put video screens in the back of cars, allowing riders to watch their route or even television, and text-messaging devices in the front, allowing drivers to contact the commission for directions. Clearly, this technology is spreading.

Bottom Line:
1) surveillance cameras are everywhere — corporations, government buildings, schools, elevators
2) never take stuff from your employer (supplies and such)
3) remember that your employer can check out your emails (it’s their property after all!)
4) with blackberries, pagers, and instant messaging, it’s hard to take the “off” out of office!

http://tapcellphone.com

Is your spouse cheating? Learn How to Catch a Cheating Spouse and the Signs of A Cheating Spouse.

Cheating Spouse: 7 Legitimate Motives for Spying

Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is often strong. There are a number of reasons why the drive to spy is powerful. Here are seven:

1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself. Probably for some time you have sensed something is different or questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you confronted your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was met with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this doesn’t fit! I don’t believe it! To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a tremendous internal turmoil. If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY! Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and trust more fully your gut feelings.

2. Spying on cheating husbands or cheating wives often helps the person feel connected to the partner who seems to be steadily moving away. It is a way of maintaining contact and having some sort of connection to this stranger who once was well known. Isn’t it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss the connection and try to find someway to maintain the ties.

3. Spying on a cheating spouse may be an honest attempt to bring resolution to the relationship. You want to know the truth. You sense something does not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait. You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You want to get on with the relationship. You want to get on with your life. You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might be this huge elephant that no one is talking about. You want to know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.

4. Cheating husbands or cheating wives often, unfortunately, lead to the demise of marital relationships. If you strongly suspect this to be true for your situation you will want to protect yourself legally. If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having “evidence” does have some impact in some court systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse. Please read through my “7 Reasons For an Affair” to determine the situation that faces you. If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.

5. You may want to protect yourself medically if you suspect you have a cheating husband or wife. You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at stake. And, of course, you need to know. Shame, guilt or self-absorption may be so powerful in your partner that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.

6. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often mean secrets. Secrets are work! There is not much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact. It is the proverbial elephant sitting in the room that no one dare talk about. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Emotionally, you can’t miss it. Secrets are a drain. If the secret persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People
become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load. You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret. You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.

7. Some of us like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue. Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may spy on your cheating spouse to keep the sense of being alive a part of your life.

Your Kids could be Sexting now. Find it out by using a Cell Phone Spy with Parental Control Software.

Parents may never have heard of it, but surveys show that 20 to 60 percent of teens are doing it: “sexting”. While this troubling trend continues full speed ahead, parents, teachers and lawmakers are struggling to react appropriately to the phenomenon that puts kids at risk for exploitation, harassment, and even felony charges.

What is sexting? A combination of the words “sex” and “text messaging,” “sexting” is the sending of sexually provocative messages or visual images to and from cell phones and computers. Kids as young as 9 years old may be doing in it, according to the research of Susan Lipkins, a psychologist specializing in bullying and hazing.

Some teens and young adults use sexting to flirt, others to have fun or be funny, and still others to gain recognition, improve their social status, or hurt or harass. “Sometimes it’s gossip, sometimes it’s a mating call, sometimes it’s sexual harassment,” says Lipkins, who urges a nuanced view of the phenomenon.

“It’s an abrupt change that’s uncomfortable and scary to adults,” she concedes, but says parents need to look at the trend as an expression of larger changes in the way teens and young adults relate sexually. “It’s really an expression of the kinds of sexual behavior they’re having,” she says, noting that young people today may be more interested in casual sex than relationships, in contrast with past generations. “Many girls are not looking for a relationship: they’re looking for experience and looking for freedom. Sexting is just a reflection of what’s actually going on.”

Sexting makes use of cell phone and computer technology to send sexually provocative images and messages, and with increased accessibility comes greatly increased risk. Gone are the days of a girl slipping a suggestive Polaroid photo to her boyfriend: now, provocative photos sent in private can be forwarded to the entire school body after a break-up, posted online, and available in perpetuity over the Internet. That’s exactly what happened to 18-year-old Jessica Logan, who committed suicide on July 3, 2008 after her ex-boyfriend forwarded nude images she had sent him to hundreds in their high school.

Emotional trauma is just one of the dangers associated with sexting behavior. Several teens across the country are now facing child pornography charges for sending or receiving sexually provocative images of themselves or peers. In Wyoming, three high school girls have been threatened with child pornography charges over digital photos in which they appear topless or in their underwear, and similar cases have appeared across the country, with charges ranging from misdemeanor to felony obscenity.

“Kids should be taught that sharing digitized images of themselves in embarrassing or compromised positions can have bad consequences, but prosecutors should not be using heavy artillery like child-pornography charges to teach them that lesson,” said Witold Walczak, Legal Director for the ACLU of Pennsylvania, which has filed a lawsuit against the Wyoming County district attorney. “Child pornography is a terrible crime that involves the abuse and exploitation of children, neither of which exists here,” said Walczak in an ACLU press release. “In many states these charges would land these kids on Megan’s Law databases, with their pictures on Internet registries for ten years or more, and prevent them from getting many types of jobs.” That means that convicted teens could end up as registered sex offenders for the simple act of taking and sending photos of themselves.

While the legal system is slapping teens with outsized charges for sexting behavior, it’s the real predators that we should be worried about, says Richard Guerry, Executive Director of the Institute for Responsible Online and Cell Phone Communication. Guerry warns that private videos and photos are increasingly becoming stolen fodder for sexually suggestive or explicit websites and blogs, even when the personal content is password protected or saved on a private hard drive.

The consequences of ’sextcasting’, the wider dissemination of images and video across the Internet, are far more serious than those of simple camera-phone messaging, says Guerry. “Sexting is limited to cell-phones and is really a method of ’sextcasting,’ which is a much larger issue.” Parents and lawmakers worried about sexting are already behind the times, says Guerry, who says that where previously parents worried about keeping kids from stumbling across online pornography sites, now they should be worrying about preventing children from becoming unwitting “content providers”.

It’s easy to vilify sexting as an out-of-control trend to be stopped at all costs. But parents should consider sexting in the larger context of the changing sexual and technological attitudes of the next generation. “We need to really take a step back and and look at it and understand it,” says Lipkins, who thinks of sexting as a symptom, not a source, of teen sexual attitudes.

Lipkins says that prosecuting kids for sexting behavior is a misguided approach to a new problem that’s best solved the old-fashioned way: by communicating with your child about risks and teaching responsible behavior. “Parents have to talk about sexting behavior as part of other behaviors, and really try to have kids learn how to navigate this world without us, because we’re not going to be around forever,” says Lipkins. “We want kids to learn how to make healthy decisions on their own.”

Want to keep your child safe from sexting and its consequences? Here’s how to help:

* Communication is Key
Kids probably won’t respond well if you ask them pointblank, “Are you sexting?” In fact, many may not even recognize the term. Instead of grilling your child, keep informed about what’s going on generally, from crushes and relationships to friendships and bullying. Many small conversations will give you a much better idea of your child’s social life than one big interrogation, and you child will be more apt to talk to you if she feels you’re consistently on the level. If you learn that your child is dating or engaging in sexual behaviors, have a frank talk about sex and include the topic of sexting. If not, make sure to have a discussion about bullying that addresses the issue of using text messages to harass or humiliate others.
* Be Real About Risks
Teens are neurologically disposed to be more impulsive and less rational than adults, which makes it all the more important that they know the dangers of sexting. Although it might not be an easy conversation, parents should communicate to teens that school-wide embarrassment, legal consequences, and viral distribution across the Internet are among the very real risks of this seemingly inconsequential behavior. Stopping to think twice may make all the difference if your teen is thinking of pressing “send” on something she might regret.
* Emphasize Empathy
Sexting isn’t a two-way street: it’s more like a multi-lane highway. That means that kids who may not be sending sexts are receiving them, forwarding them to others, and contributing to a potentially malicious environment of gossip and harassment. Urge your child to think before forwarding sexually provocative images of other people – how would he feel if that were his image instead of someone else’s? Using empathy may help your teen make the decision to press “delete” instead of saving or forwarding.
* Teach 21st Century Responsibility
Kids who may be model citizens offline can make big mistakes online, so it’s important to stress that responsible behavior extends to the world of email, text messaging, video chatting and social networking. Make sure that your child knows that anything posted online, or sent via cell phones or email, can be saved, shared, and virally disseminated across the Internet. That means that friends, enemies, strangers, teachers, parents and future employers could potentially see your images and videos.

Parents should see sexting not as an isolated trend, but as a new expression, fueled by technology, of the social and sexual experimentation that has always characterized adolescence. That means that the best way for parents to keep kids safe is still to send a message of their own, which emphasizes responsibility, explains the risks, and keeps the lines of communication open.

Cell Phone Monitoring Spy Phones to Monitor Teens.

Q. I’ve heard of devices on cell phones that can track owners’ whereabouts, and I’ve considered these for my son, age 11, and daughter, age 17.

I want my kids to have freedom and be safe, of course, but I’m not sure if cell phones alone will provide the protection I’m seeking. Plus, couldn’t a child just turn the phone off if they didn’t want the parent to trace their steps?

A. In today’s scary world, it seems as if this could be the protection parents have been looking for. Let’s say your 11-year-old son is going on a long bike ride with a friend, so they take along your cell phone just in case they need help. Not only could they call you if necessary, but with Global Positioning Systems (GPS) equipped on many mobile phones today, your son and his friend could also be located easily if they called 911. Plus, if you subscribed to an additional service, you could track the boys’ exact location from your computer.

Or consider this: If your daughter is driving herself and three friends to a concert, she could map out exactly how to locate the concert location and get back home, just by using her equipped cell phone. And with an additional software package, you could track her whereabouts for the entire evening.
Will Cell Phones Keep Them Safe? A Fallible Plan

Such tracking devices, however, have drawbacks parents need to be aware of. If the boys urgently needed help during their bike ride, it might be too late by the time someone found them. And if they wanted to, the concert-going girls could deviate from the established itinerary and go to a party after the show — they could turn off the phone or leave it in their own car and drive with someone else.

Cell phones and their accompanying programs are tools for parenting children safely today, but they not foolproof. Nothing takes the place of a well-established parent-child relationship based on love and trust. Also, parents need the confidence that their children — 10-year-olds to teenagers — have the experience and intellectual judgment to manage the environments in which they’re placed, only using the cell phone as a backup safety device.

The mobile phone is neither a babysitter nor a watchdog. Its protective uses are limited to the skill and willingness on the part of a child to carry and use it wisely. If you do decide to let your kids use these phones and devices, don’t rely solely on them for protection. Your children need you watching them — technology will never take the place of your time, attention, eyes, and ears when overseeing your child’s whereabouts.

Cell Phone Spy Software are coming out in the Market now but who really needs to use it?

Technology has advanced tremendously over the last few years. Tasks that required the use of a supercomputer a few generations ago can now be accomplished on the small handheld device. In fact, there isn’t much you can’t do with a modern smartphone.

In fact the type of stuff that we thought only agent 007 could do is now available to the general public. Software is available that can help you spy on a cell phone user. You can know who they’ve been talking to, they’ve been messaging, and even locate their GPS location. As startling as this may seem, there are some practical applications for this type of software. Let’s examine four reasons that someone would need to use cellspy software.
1. Enforce Employee Wireless Policies
With more and more jobs requiring employees to travel, many companies now provide their employees with wireless devices like PDAs and cell phones. While the phone may be intended for work purposes only, some employees will make tons of personal calls at the company’s expense. is your company paying too much because your employees abuse their cell phone privileges?

Cell phonespy software, like MobileSpy, give an employer the ability to track their employee’s cell phone usage. The software allows you to keep track of text messages, calls, GPS locations and more. The program runs quietly in the background, sending logs to the owner’s private account.
2. Monitor Your Cheating Spouse
Spousal infidelity is a major problem among a growing number of couples. But when you start seeing the signs of an unfaithful spouse, what can you do to prove their guilt?

This type of software allows you to monitor your significant other’s cell phone usage. You will be able to track their phone conversations,text messages and GPS locations. Are they heading to the office or elsewhere. By logging into your account, you can see their GPS location in real time.
3. Monitor Your Teen
Teens account for the majority of the world’s cell phone users And because of this, there are a bunch of new problems a parent has to deal with. Kids sendingtext messages during tests at school. Girls sending nude pictures of themselves to their boyfriends, and vice versa. Teenagers making plans behind their parents backs, and keeping them in the dark the entire time. And while there are plenty of options available for monitoring computer usage, you also need the ability to monitor their mobile usage. What can a parent do to protect their kids?

The software gives the opportunity to monitor your child’s mobile phone usage. The software will record all text messages,GPS locations and call information. Just login to a web site to view all activities.
4. Backup Your Own Cell Activities
If you use your smartphone all the time. you will probably find the need to delete old messages from time to time, just to save space. Concerned about your old messages? No more worries. The software is a great way to backup all your important activities. You can keep records of important conversations and communications, as the software will record all of these activities for you. And when you need to, you can easily review them anytime. You can review all your calls including timestamp, directions, andtext messages. This can prove helpful in any situation where you need to have proof of your actions.

Cell Phone Monitoring your Teens Using Parental Control Software for Spy Phones is the best way to protect your kids.

Over a decade ago, the idea of a teenager running around with their own cell phone was relatively unheard of. With more parents wanting the ability to always be in constant contact with their kids, the numbers have increased. However, the numbers have now increased to the point that teens account for the majority of the world’s mobile phone users.
While the intention of giving a teenager a cell phone for safety reasons is valid, the negative impact it has created is unbelievable. According to Nielsen Mobile, the average 13-17 year oldcell phone user will send and receive over 1,700 text messages a month. Many of these messages are being sent during classroom time, causing many schools to ban the devices. Some messages include nude or semi-nude pictures, and have been bringing up child pornography issues. In the U.S., over 20% of fatal car crashes involving drivers between the ages of 16 and 19 were the result ofcell phone use, and that number is still growing. With all of the problems caused by teenage cell phone use, what can a parent do to protect their children? Here are a few tips on how to protect your cell-crazy teen.
1. Establish Guidelines
Education is key. Talk to your kids about the dangers and responsibilities associated with using a cell phone. Tell them what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Make sure to set time frames as to when the cell phone should be turned off, or when the phone needs to be placed in the parent’s care. Without defined guidelines, your teenager could wind up a victim.
2. Embrace The Technology
Rather than calling your son to find out what time he needs picked up, send him a text message.Rather than ask your daughter to watch a news segment on TV about the dangers of sending text messages while driving, send a link of the video to her phone. If you embrace and understand the technology that they use, there is a chance that they won’t misuse it.
3. Learn About Abbreviations
You may now know that LOL means “Laughing Out Loud”, but if you saw text message that said KPC or CFMN, would you know what was being said? More and more teens are using abbreviated lingo, not simply to get the message sent quicker, but to prevent parental eyes from knowing what’s going on. By knowing that KPC means “Keeping Parents Clueless”, or that CFMN means “Come F*** Me Now”, you will have a better idea on whether or not your kids are being honest with you about their activities.
4. Audit Their Activity
Do you know who your teenage son was talking to at 2 in the morning? Do you know who your daughter sent 500 text messages to last month? Your teenager might delete their call or text logs if they think you are looking through them, so we need to look at other ways to get the information.

First, check your bills. If your cell phone carrier doesn’t already provide you with detailed billing, ask for it.

Another option is using cell phone spy software. Programs like MobileSpy allow you to monitor your teenager’s call information, text messages, and even know their GPS location. If your daughter is supposed to be spending the night at her friends house, you can verify her whereabouts in real-time simply by logging into your account.

Peronal GPS is available now and Can Used to Spy others.

GPS tracking devices have a multitude of uses, most of them are mostly positive. However, global satellite positioning system devices are sometimes referred to issues of privacy, which sometimes can lead to controversy.
The fleet vehicles and GPS tracking devices
You will find that there are many small and large businesses that global positioning, the use of tracking devices to monitor the position of their vehicles. Most carriers have the ability to tell where all their vehicles at any point in time. Similarly, taxi companies and repair firms have the ability to control the position of their trucks so they can send them more efficient.
However, some people believe that this gives the companies that want to use GPS tracking devices more information than necessary about their drivers. For example, carriers have the ability to know how long it has been a truck driver on the road, when and for what period of time you stop for sleep or meals and if he did neither side trips outside the program.
Dispatcher of these companies have access to personal information of your business, such as a driver for lunch every day in the same place, and not his residence. Some people are of the opinion that this is a violation of personal privacy.
Adolescents and GPS tracking devices
There are some parents who use global positioning tracking devices for the location of his adolescence. You can download the Global Positioning System monitoring software technology for mobile phones from their teen, or you can add a global positioning system tracking device somewhere in the car. Adolescents may or may not be aware that their parents were monitored.
It is likely that some boys who believe that this and the invasion of their privacy.
GPS tracking devices and surveillance
Thought for the mind if your spouse has an affair? Curious to know what your brother-in-law is up? If you put a GPS tracking device hidden in your vehicle, at least you know where to go by car. You may need to draw their own conclusions about what they are doing there.
Many people would agree that this would be an invasion of privacy and many would be offended if he knew or suspected that the control of them. Things are a bit ‘more complicated when the police use GPS tracking devices.
Tracking Devices Global Positioning been successfully used by the police to solve crimes. An example of the conflict between serving justice and violation of privacy, for example, the police put a GPS tracking device in the car of a person suspected of being a murderess. Subjects successfully murderess as he unknowingly leads them to the grave for the victims. This is an invasion of privacy? Officials responsible for enforcing the law should be allowed to use global positioning devices to track this?
If, for example, the police need to obtain a search warrant from a judge to use a GPS tracking device in case of a private citizen can use this technology without a warrant? If the average citizen, also have the ability to use global positioning technology to monitor the device at all? Sometimes, the right to privacy and right to information are in conflict, this is a part of the time.
All the technology has ethical and moral implications that we, as individuals and society as a whole must be resolved. The right to privacy is the ethical dilemma that they are forced to face when you use GPS tracking device.

Turn your phone into A Spy Phone with Cell Phone GPS Tracking and Cell Phone Tappiing Capabilities.

Oct. 12–Sneaky people and technology can turn your cell phone against you.

Cell phone spyware makes it easy for someone to eavesdrop on your conversations, intercept text messages and identify your location. And you may never know it’s happening, experts say.

“You are so dead,” an electronically altered voice taunted Courtney Kuykendall from her cell phone. Courtney’s mother, Heather, told a television station that someone used spyware to terrify her daughter with harassing calls that revealed the caller knew the teenager’s location, what she was wearing and saying.

“This type of issue is almost out of an outlandish sci-fi film. The reality is that there is no question about it, it is happening,” said Robert Siciliano, chief executive officer of Web site IDTheftSecurity.com.

Oklahoma private investigators say they’re getting many requests for listening in on private conversations. But Colin Pressley of Barrington Investigations LLC in Oklahoma City and Larry Mulinix of MPI Agency in Norman said they won’t touch it.

The private investigators said most requests revolve around trying to catch cheating spouses. Other popular requests are from clients who want to ensure their phones contain no spyware.

In most instances, cell phone spyware is illegal, said FBI spokesman Gary Johnson.

The Internet contains numerous ads for cell phone spyware, with software ranging from several hundred dollars to $69.95. Ads contain claims and testimonials such as: “Catch that cheating spouse,” “I learned all I needed to know the very first night,” and “I could not believe what that boy was saying to my 13-year-old.”

Mulinix said some software creates GPS logs of where the target phone has gone. Someone can sit at home and map the phone’s location.

“If I get hold of your phone I can install this, like a SIM chip, open the door up and put this in there, and I can monitor you,” he said. “You won’t even know it.”

The investigators say they stick with legal surveillance techniques.

“You get a lot of people that call up and just want to monitor their wife or spouse. A lot of times I spend hours watching a guy late at night while I’m out there (in the car) drinking Dr Peppers and eating Twinkies,” Mulinix said. “There’s a lot of boredom interrupted by terror.”

Average people can face nearly as much terror from Internet ads that harangue viewers to buy instant downloads. Some boast that, in just minutes, downloaded spyware can begin intercepting text messages and sending text messages notifying the spy every time the target phone makes or receives calls so the spy can listen in on the phone calls.

“Until now, the most bad guys could get are phone lists and the like,” said Sujeet Shenoi, computer science professor at the University of Tulsa, “which would be fine for the National Enquirer getting Paris Hilton’s phone number.”

The celebrity became a victim of cell phone trickery in 2005. T-Mobile and the FBI reportedly launched an investigation after the contents of Hilton’s cell phone appeared online. Numbers and e-mail addresses of celebrity buddies such as Lindsay Lohan and Ashlee Simpson were apparently hacked from her cell phone.

“You’re going to see more people reveal themselves in ugly ways. Right now they’re doing it for fun. They’re doing it for stalking and harassment. And as time goes on, you’re going to see it being used more for financial gain,” Shenoi said.

Courtney Kuykendall, the Tacoma, Wash., resident whose daughter was harassed by someone using spyware, said the calls stopped last summer without police finding a suspect. She said she would like to raise people’s awareness that spyware can be used to terrify.

Talking to Your Kids about Sexting is not Easy. There are available software now that has Cell Phone Monitoring and Cell Phone Recording Capabilities for Parental Control.

Every parent concerned for their children’s welfare should know how to talk with their children on the topic of ‘sexting.’

‘Sexting’ involves the distribution of graphic sexual messages or photos by cell phone.

The potential for this activity to affect one’s life negatively is great; when it involves a minor on either end of the exchange, it may change one’s life forever. If convicted criminally, an offender could have a reporting requirement for 20 or more years as a sex offender.

Readers may already be familiar with the story of one Cincinnati teen, Jessica Logan.

This past spring at the age of 18, she hanged herself over a ‘sexting’ incident that left her feeling depressed.

Her needless death resulted from suffering harassment from high school classmates after her ex-boyfriend distributed photos exchanged by cell phone.

The emotional and psychological damage that an event like ‘sexting’ can have is great, but there are steps one can take to ward off such scars.

Talk with one’s children.

The first recommendation one can make to children is not to take or send nude or sexually suggestive photos in the first place.

Teens could be charged with producing or distributing child pornography.

As a parent, one may choose to discuss the non-legal consequences that involve the threat to future employment and reputation. ‘Sexting’ can be done on any media including E-mail and the Web; therefore, photos can be archived and stored and later come back to haunt you.

Regardless of the reason, flirting or impulsive behavior, don’t take the pictures to begin with.

Teens should not send photos they receive. If a teen has received a photo, encourage them to talk about it, if not with a parents, then another trusted adult, e.g. a teacher.

Stay calm. Encourage them to tell the full story. If the picture is from a friend or someone they know, then someone needs to talk to that friend so he or she knows ‘sexting’ is against the law.

If you’ve had the talk and the photos keep coming, the teen and a parent might have to speak with the friend’s parents, school authorities or the police.

If parents want to learn more of how to protect their children against ‘sexting,’ call on local law enforcement or school administrators for guidance. If one aware of ‘sexting’ that is happening, please contact local law enforcement.